Reaching Out
by Colie88
Summary: James and Lily have a fight. Is it too late to reconcile? Warning, mild swearing


A/N: Ok... this was just a little something that poped into my head while downloading and listen to this song. I suggest that you listen to the song while reading it.. it makes it more..intense in my opinion.

I dont own the song. It is called "Let's be us again" by a country group callled Lonestar. I also dont own the characters... i'm just playing with them. However... i do own the polt line.

The song is BOLD writing and the flash back is marked, though it is in ITALICS.. Hope its not too confusing.

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James walked out of the graveyard, sighing as he did so. He had attended a funeral service for a fallen Order member's wife. She had been alone in their London flat when Voldemort had attacked. Poor Karen Prewett hadn't stood a chance against him. James' thoughts strayed to Lily. Two days ago, they had an argument and James hadn't seen her since. He missed her. He wanted, no needed, to see her. Life was too short nowadays for them to argue over anything. James knew that Voldemort could have just as easily killed him or Lily, and that thought hit home hard.

_**Tell me what I have to do tonight  
Cause I'd do anything to make it right**_

He knew that Lily wouldn't grant him an audience without a peace offering of some kind. He stopped by a store and picked up her favorite flowers and a box of chocolates. With purchases in hand, he apparated to her doorstep. Taking a deep breath, he knocked and rang the bell, just to be sure she heard.

Lily answered the door, a frown on her face. "James..." she said quietly.

"Hey, Lils." James swalllowed. She looked like she had been crying. "Can I come in?"

**Let's be us again**

She licked her lips and nodded. James smiled and handed her the flowers and candy he had brought. Lily hesitantly took the items from him and placed them on one of her end tables. She turned back to James and stared at him, waiting. James didn't know how to begin, but memory of their fight was still fresh in his head.

Two days ago.....

_"What are you saying, James?" Lily asked, her voice dangerously calm._

_"I just mean that it isn't a good time to be talking about that stuff, Lily."_

_"Oh, so let's just place our entire lives on hold because some nut job wants to throw everything into total chaos. If everyone put a hold on life, there wouldn't be anything worth living for!"_

_"I'm not saying we should put our lives on hold, Lils. All I'm saying is that with our..occupations and meeting evil every other few days, maybe having one wouldn't be very smart."_

_"Just admit it, James. It's been almost two years since we started dating, almost one since we joined the order. You don't want to marry me. Ever."_

_"That's not true! I do.. just not in these times. Look what happened to Fabien and Karen! She's dead because he is in the Order. I don't want that to happen to us!"_

_"Your using that as an excuse! People are dying everyday.. why must we suffer? Oh, wait... I forgot, you DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!" Lily ended in a shout._

_James winced, but quickly recovered. "FINE! YOUR RIGHT! THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ISN'T IT?! THAT YOUR RIGHT, YOU KNOW MY FEELINGS, MY THOUGHTS? NEWSFLASH, EVANS, YOU AREN'T ALWAYS RIGHT."_

_He hadn't called her Evans since before they had started dating."Maybe we should just end it," she told him quietly. _

_"You don't mean that, Lily," James said just as quietly, suddenly calming down._

_"Don't I? If we aren't going to take the next step, maybe we should quit while we are ahead."_

_"Lily...it's not that I don't want to-"_

_"Face it, James, we didn't work out." She walked over to the door of her apartment and held it open for him. "Goodbye, James."_

_Defeated, he looked at her, then at the open door. "I- Lily, please, I want to be with you-"_

_"Just go, James." Her voice broke slightly._

_Holding back tears himself, he walked to the door. One final glance at her face and he was gone. _

**I'm sorry for the way I lost my head  
I don't know why I said the things I said  
Let's be us again**

Lily's voice brought him back to the present. "What are you doing here?"

James stared at her. She was truly beautiful. "I miss you,"

"It's been two days, James. " Lily said monotonously.

"Lily.. please. Rethink your decision. Rethink us." James shoved his hands into his pockets, so he wouldn't be tempted to touch her. He didn't think she would care for his touch at the moment.

"We want different things, James. Remember? I want to get married. You don't." She turned from him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes.

"I do! I really do. I just didn't understand why you wanted it to be now." James bite his lip before adding, "I want to be with you, forever." If she told him to get out, he wasn't sure he could go on. He needed her in order to live. She was his everything and he didn't want to lose her. Ever.

**Here I stand with everything to lose  
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reachin out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again  
Us again**

"Why not now, James? Other than your excuse of Voldemort trying to take over."

He had no answer to that. Instead he begged. "Please, Lils. Can't we try it again?"

She turned back to him and he saw unshed tears in her eyes. "I don't think so, James."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Lily.. I- " He stopped. The only words that would come from his mouth were_ I love you_. Though he wanted to say them, he didn't want the first time she heard it from him to be after they were over. "I'm sorry," he told her. So much for never saying he was sorry.

**Look at me I'm way past pride  
Isn't there some way that we can try  
To be us again**

"Sorry isn't going to fix the problem, James." she said quietly. God, how she wanted to be with him. But he had hurt her deeply by refusing to get married. Add that to the fact that in the two years they had been dating he never once used the word _love_. Sure, he said he cared, couldn't live without her, and other such things. But, for her, that wasn't enough. Maybe he didn't love her and that's why he didn't want to be married. She didn't want to just date. Eventually she wanted to have a family.. a husband and at least two kids . Obviously James didn't.

"What will? I'm not leaving until this is sorted out properly. I won't let you kick me out of here like you day the other day. I want this to work, damn it!" She wasn't making this easy. He wouldn't let her go. Leaving two days ago had been a mistake, he knew that now. He wasn't going to make the same one twice.

**Even if it takes awhile  
I'll wait right here until I see that smile  
That says we're us again**

Here I stand with everything to lose  
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reachin' out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again.

" I-I'm not sure," she lied. She knew that if he said he loved her, she would forgive him and melt right back into his arms. But she wasn't going to tell him how to make it better. He needed to figure it out on his own. It wouldn't mean anything to her if she flat out told him how to fix everything.

He needed her. What would he do if he couldn't fix everything?

**Baby, baby, what would I do  
Can't imagine life without you**

"Lily.. please.. help me understand what is really going on. I don't think that it has to do with us getting married anymore. At least.. not just that."

She didn't say anything, just stared at him. Her heart was beating hard against her chest and she felt like crying. He was so close to the answer that she was afraid he wouldn't get it.

"Damn it, Lily! Answer me. Please, I can't go on without you! I don't want to lose you. " He stared at her. When almost five minutes of silence had passed he slammed his fist on the table next to him. "LILY!! Why must you be so difficult? Can't you see that I'm trying to make up for the other day? Can't you tell I want you so much I wouldn't be able to breath without you in my life? Are you too stupid to see that I am in love with you? What is your problem!?! I can't figure it out. Do you not want to be with me?" He stopped, realizing the words that had just come out of his mouth. By the look on Lily's face, she had too.

**Here I stand with everything to lose  
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end  
Baby please I'm reachin' out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in**

**Oh here I am I'm reachin' out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again**

Lily stared at him, shocked to her very core. She swallowed and whispered. "What?"

He hadn't meant to say it.. his anger had made him speak without thinking. Now she knew. He wasn't going to take it back, either. If she couldn't handle that...he wasn't sure what he would do. "I said...I love you, Lily," he repeated quietly, much quieter that he had a moment ago.

"Do you mean it? I mean, its not..not something you said because you were mad?" Lily had to know. Sure..he had said it.. but what if it was just a slip up. Something he hadn't meant to say?

"I meant it, Lily. Every word I have ever said to you, I meant." James informed her. Lily threw herself into his arms and he gladly held her tight against him.

"I love you too, James."

**Oh, let's be us again**

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Review??? please??


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